Monday, May 9, 2011

Monster Monday: The Zombie Basics

[caption id="attachment_937" align="alignleft" width="142" caption="Classic Style: The Walking Dead"]Zombie Roamer[/caption]

Continuing on my zombie invasion theme, let's get a few things out of the way. Although you can break down the undead into dozens of different types and styles, I'm going with 3. It's enough to get you started and cover the bases for most of the apocalypses we expect to encounter. And we're resourceful people here - I assume that if the zombies throw us for a loop, we'll drop back and adjust as needed! Either way, the warehouse here is fully set up so that we can play trading card games for years, if necessary, while barricaded inside with all the energy drinks we'll ever need. If you can make it here to join us, I'll think about letting you in. The codeword is PHYREXIA, which, coincidentally, you can also enter at checkout now to get 5% off your order.

Zombie Field Guide

The Voodoo Zombie: Well aren't you the lucky survivor! The Voodoo zombie is easy enough. There may be only one, or at most, only as many as the priest dug up to raise from the dead. They aren't contagious, move slowly and have no intelligence, so have at them - these should be easily dispatched, but you may have to form a posse to take out the zombie-maker who set them on you in the first place. That might prove more difficult.


[caption id="attachment_938" align="alignright" width="101" caption="Actually, I think she's fine to watch the kids for awhile."]Sideshow Collectibles 12 Inch Figure The Dead Zombie Subject 1025: Babysitter[/caption]

The Classic Zombie: A bit trickier, but still survivable. They're rotting, slow, shambling and stupid. They may or may not come out in daylight, but they're very contagious and arrive in large numbers. What raised them? A virus? Plague? Some sorcery? It doesn't really matter. You'll have to take them out with a disgusting headshot because they're also very squishy, so steel yourself for the splat! Alternate method: try burning them. Sometimes this works, but be ready for the headshot if it doesn't. And whatever you do, don't get bitten!

The Nimble Zombie: We've seen some fast-moving zombies, climbing zombies, and zombies that can be killed in normal ways. If they're coming fast, one option is to be faster! They're still not smart, so cleverness counts too. This is one of the few situations in which Parkour might come in very handy...unless your zombie pursuers are extremely agile as well. Assuming that the undead have far greater stamina than you do, just get inside a safe building or room and barricade in!

No matter what kind of zombies are amassing against you, it's usually a good idea to stick with the basic rules:

  • Don't get bitten

  • Go for the headshot, with fire as a possible alternative

  • Don't assume they're only active at night or that a motionless zombie is a dead/incapacitated zombie

  • Always plan an escape route and a safe spot

And if anyone does get bitten, well, you know what to do.

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