Friday, July 15, 2011

Hello Kitty Confession

It's about time I came clean around here and start telling our readers who I am. Or in this case, what I was. Because ToyWiz.com isn't my first job in the wonderful world of toys...first, I was a cat.

I was an awesome cat. I was, in fact, Hello Kitty. (Yes, the Hello Kitty).

 




[caption id="attachment_1170" align="aligncenter" width="150" caption="I usually wore these overalls."][/caption]

Years ago, I worked for a Sanrio retail store in the US. Part of my job involved wearing ginormous costumes to appear at various events - those child ID days? I was there. Mall events, grand openings, parades, you name it. And at every one of them, I wore a huge, fur-covered cat suit and greeted kids for hours on end. I loved the job, but it did have it's challenges - and not just from the handful of kids who are invariably afraid of costumed characters (there are always a few).

First of all, let me tell you: costume work is serious business. Those suits are heavy and hot.  Of course nobody on the outside could see me sweat, but there's no getting around the fact that nobody's pretty after an hour inside 50 pounds of cat suit. Don't be fooled by the big eyes and the red bow: you've got to be tough to be Hello Kitty! You also have to be able to do the Hokey-Pokey in giant feet, and that's a skill I challenge you to master.

Anyway, as I said, I loved it...most of the time. Sometimes though, being a costumed mime cat is not the bed of roses you're probably thinking it is.

Once I was working a typical "Child Safe" day in a mall parking lot, sponsored by the local police department. Volunteers were making IDs for kids and teaching them all about not taking candy from strangers, and I was part of the entertainment. The cops had rented a life-sized "robot" McGruff the Crime Dog for the event, which didn't phase me at all. I'd worked with many other celebrities: Batman, Superman, the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus. (That's right, I was up there on stage with the big man himself - totally famous). McGruff was just another in a long line of "celebrities" to share my kitty spotlight.

Now to be perfectly honest, calling that McGruff a robot was a stretch - it was really more like a mannequin on a platform with a pretty crummy RC system. It had buttons to play a few phrases like, "Ruff! Ruff! Take a bite out of crime!" in a grizzled voice, and it stood with one arm bent, pointing his dog-finger, and a joystick controller that rolled him around. But that's really all he did - rolling around, saying the same phrases over and over, pointing at people.

Since the old "robot" dog didn't have many tricks, Hello Kitty was infinitely more popular with the kids. But the officers weren't going to stand for that. After awhile, they put it all together:  they had a dog. I was a cat. Somehow, comedy gold would be born from this combination.

I believe I was doing my typical Hello Kitty performance when suddenly I was goosed from behind. I'd had plenty of kids pull my tail, but this was a little different - it was a hard poke to the backside, and not just once, no. Again and again I was assaulted, even as I tried to turn and maneuver to find the culprit. The kids were laughing hysterically, but I couldn't move fast enough to see what was going on behind me.

[caption id="attachment_1171" align="aligncenter" width="150" caption="Bad dog! No!"][/caption]

Now the world can be a little confusing as Hello Kitty - my visibility was limited to a small window in the nose and the fur head muffled most sound. I was accustomed to working around those challenges though - I was, after all, a trained professional. But all the training in the world can't prepare a girl for a random surprise kancho.

After a few minutes, I caught on. It was McGruff! Of all the random things in my random life, I found myself being virtually assaulted by a crime dog in a public anti-crime venue, to everyone's amusement but my own.

The kids, of course, were laughing and giggling so hard there was really no way to stop it. Hello Kitty is nothing if not a good sport. So the police decided to chase me around the parking lot with Robot McGruff and his poky finger on my heels the whole way. And while I'm sure it looked very funny from outside the costume, inside, I was being roasted alive on the hot asphalt. I kept trying to get them to stop, but the first rule of being Hello Kitty is: DO NOT TALK IN COSTUME! (It's like Fight Club, but with fake fur and a bow). I wasn't about to spoil anything for the kids, so all I could do is plead with my hands, wag my finger, mime crying...and run in giant cat feet when the dog came back around to chase me anew.

There came a point, however, when it was obvious that I had to somehow stop the madness. I'd been in the costume too long already (there are rules about that, you know! You can pass out in there!), and I was getting dehydrated from running around in the heat. But when I tried to go into the trailer for some water and a cool-off break, the cops thought it was funny to stop me. They parked Robot McGruff right in my path and set him to bark repeatedly.

Now honestly, I considered just knocking that stupid "robot" dog contraption over and going on past. I mean really now - I may have looked like Hello Kitty, but I am quite capable of knocking over a cheap mannequin when pressed. I can only imagine how that would have looked to the kids though! Hello Kitty suddenly freaks out and clobbers McGruff? They'd be traumatized! So instead I marched over to the table where two officers were controlling the miserable cur. I reached out with my huge mitten-paw hands and wrapped them around the head of the officer with the remote control. I leaned in, and held his face right up to mine, eye-to-eye (his eye to my eye, being his eye to the Kitty's nose, from an outside perspective) and held it there hoping he could see and hear me.

"Let. me. in. the. trailer. before I die." I growled through clenched teeth, before giving him a big Hello Kitty hug and turning to wave back at the kids as if nothing unusual had just transpired.

As I started back toward the promise of a much-deserved break, all I could hear was a chorus of little girls squealing "OOOOoooh!" and tons of giggles.

[caption id="attachment_1172" align="aligncenter" width="150" caption="Luckily, the paparazzi missed the chance to catch Hello Kitty in a compromising photo."][/caption]

Only later did I discover that there was going to be fallout from my encounter with Officer Joystick. When I drew him close to speak privately through the cat nose, things had been a little misconstrued. From outside the costume, it appeared that I had just grabbed a policeman and given him a long, passionate Hello Kitty kiss. And naturally, not all the parents were thrilled with that part of the show.

My boss did ask, in her preachy mom-voice, how I could have handled the situation differently while in costume.

My answer? I should have just clobbered McGruff. Lesson learned.

What was your first job, and did anything ever go hilariously wrong when you entered the working world?

82 comments:

meiguizi said...

that is utterly weird.

Brendan Kearney said...

HAHAHAHA! That's pretty funny. Did this actually happen. or is it a story? Seems too funny to be true.

Bebs said...

It is true - I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. It's not even my only story of being the kitty. Maybe next I'll tell you about the time they tried to decapitate me...

HKLives said...

That is too funny. But I remember when our school had an anti-crime event with McGruff. All I can say is that dogs don't like that costume.

Brickitivity said...

Hahahaha you shouldn't have gotten in that hello kitty costume. Hello Kitty is EVIL. :)

Lando said...

Despite being assaulted by what sounds like the canine equivalent to the members of the Hall of Presidents or a Chuck E. Cheese player, it really is a hilarious story. And I'm sure you're glad that McGruff wasn't something more serpentine ;).

The only real tale of woe related to my first job (board operator at an AM radio station) was I had to open up the place and turn on the antenna Saturday mornings at 5:30 AM; so my Friday nights were pretty awful for about a year.

The Brick Guy said...

What an amazing story! You sure have a knack for telling funny stories, and I can't wait to hear the next one!

The Brick Guy

Kommando said...

My dad actually worked with the police department for about 20 years, so I would go to those crime events all the time, and saw McGruff every time I went there. Of course, this wasn't a robot.... They usually had a person in a costume or a real dog in a little doggy trench coat. One time, they had the dog find the "criminal." Great times....

brickmastre said...

"you've got to be tough to be Hello Kitty" is right! Who knew that being a Hello Kitty would be such a tough job!

I give you a lot of credit for that, even not talking in the cat suit must have been a challenge. Although I have never been virtually assaulted by a crime fighting dog, it doesn't sound fun. The salt mines at ToyWiz sound less harsh than that. Please tell us about the time they tried to decapitate you!

Good luck everyone!

Bebs said...

Lando, I interned in radio. I spent a semester of weekend nights staying up just to babysit a satellite feed (we weren't live at night, it was really someone out of Nashville). I also gave the call letters twice an hour. I wasn't even allowed to say anything else on the air. Just watch the feed, play the promo. Watch the feed.... Yeah...lousy weekends those were.

Bebs said...

It is amazing how much you learn to mime when you can't talk! Obviously there are some non-Kitty-appropriate gestures and motions that come across great in costume too though - and it's just too tempting to bring those out when you're not with the kids. I brought down the house in the dressing room for a few close friends & coworkers, dancing like a giant feline Beyonce.

Justin said...

LOL, if it makes you feel any better I had to dress up as a giant cardinal in my college dayes

Andrew said...

I was Sammy the Seahawk, mascot for all the varsity sports teams at my university for one season. No horror stories to tell like yours, but I can attest to how hot it is inside the suit. The head was too much of a hassle to remove and put back on, so with the help of an assistant, I would use a beer bong filled with water of gatorade to stay hydrated during games.

Bebs said...

Oh nice! I did a lot of costume work throughout college, but I only did one baseball game (minor league) - NOT as the kitty though. Your idea for staying hydrated is brilliant! By contract, I had to remove my head for something like 10 minutes every hour...something like that, I don't quite remember. It's not as if you can tell time in there anyway!

Bebs said...

I bet that was a good-looking costume! I used to hate when a new character would arrive that looked bad. My Sanrio costumes were always first-rate, but after that job, I worked periodically for a company that supplied a wide range of costume characters for events. They sent me a Clifford the Big Red Dog one time that looked like it had mange!

*Clifford's appearance was replaced by Angelina Ballerina. Because I did a lot of things to earn a living, but being a mangy dog crossed the line.

Liam4242 said...

Wow, thats a job to remember. I remember going to a chuckie cheese party with my little brother and when the person in the chuckie suit came all the kids knocked him to the ground. They couldnt get all the kids off him for 5 minuetes.

Bebs said...

I'm afraid that's a hazard of the job! I went down a few times as the Kitty when excited kids rushed me, but I usually had someone outside the costume on hand to stand me back up fast!

Clayton said...

Oh wow, this reminds me of the time that Arby's made me into a giant dancing oven mitt. Pizza Hut next door was not amused. But I'll tell you... begin a gigantic dancing oven mitt definitely beats out working back in the kitchen.

Bebs said...

Oh wow! Did your costume do anything? Like could you wiggle the thumb or something, or was it just a giant mitt? Did your arms stick out, or were you in one of the straightjacket style costumes?

I call the "straightjacket" style not because your arms are necessarily tight, but it stinks to have nowhere to put them and no way to grab anything outside the costume! And yes, I've been in one like that.

Ethan said...

Ha ha ha, thats a really funny story! I don't think i'd want to be in a big costume like that all, heck I don't even think i'd survive a shift in a big, hot costume!

Lego slayer said...

Haha wow that sounds like a bad day at work. I can't believe you met the big man himself! I've been trying to get him out of the north pole for years. As for those police officers with robo gruff you handled it pretty well when you couldve just knocked him over. My first job was being a cashier at a supermarket. As mich as I loved the people I worked with some of those customers can be pretty angry about simple things. The funniest story I have is that on Halloween I was dressed as a giant hot dog and a customer actually asked my boss if he could eat me. My boss, being a funny guy, goes of course. This customer is easily 6'5" and looks like a bodybuilder. He picks me up turned me sideways and pretended to take a bite out of me. That's my best story and yours gave me a good laugh.

101stairborne said...

That sounds fun, but quite dangerous and hot. I would give you a cookie, but I ate them all. Sorry.

Kevin said...

HAHAHA! This story made my day!

Taser66 said...

Thats interesting :) but I have no job because of my age

Michael said...

Haha, you're definitely one of the few people that have had interesting and crazy things happen while on the job. I've only worked retail and food (frozen yogurt) which are much more routine, and the chances of being put in a difficult situation are slim.

However, at the yogurt place I worked at, I do remember having to explain a small shortage chocolate chip toppings and marshmallows at the topping counter... :D

SniperOfDeath said...

Woah, glad I have officially decided to never be a mascot xD. When I saw the title I was like what?!?! o_o But I read on and i loled xD.

Freter325 said...

Man this is hilarious! You should see if they have one of those "favorite tweet" segments on Jimmy Falon about jobs and turn it in!!!

Shredsmore said...

Hah! Funny.

-Rinzler- said...

Haha! Man, you really can hold it together! I know I would've clobbered Mc. Gruff!

Jack said...

Haha; this is pretty funny! Did you enjoy it? ;)

Bebs said...

...not nearly as much as I'd have enjoyed slugging that annoying dog...

Bebs said...

Nobody ever tried to pick me up! That would have been far too surreal - with the lack of visibility, I probably would have panicked if someone turned me on my side!

SgtPepper567 said...

Hello Kitty? Quite odd indeed.

Bren926 said...

I loved that part about your excuse to talk to the officer! The parents must have been even more surprised then the kids!

When I was in Middle School, I always had to go to fairs as our mascot, the Reynold Raider! Probably the worst is when I had to go to some German Fair. The smell of Sauer Kraut never seemed to leave the costume. But on top of that, the little kiddies would always jump on top of my soft, furry eagle costume. They would yell stuff like "Tanz, Herr Alder!" and "Sie sind so weich, Herr Alder!" At least I got free food.

cpl. Kelly said...

Wow, Hello Kitty eh? Wow..... There's only one thing scarier than Hello Kitty..... The Gummi Bears. *Shudder* There's something I've been haunted by.
Yeah, the next Paranormal Activity should be called "Paranormal Hello Cativity", that would be a blockbuster.

-Kelly

Mike (twin2b25628) said...

Ha! This gave me a chuckle!

Nice to hear a story about you!

(I hope to win a bloody BrickArms product!)

-Mike-

Bebs said...

Kelly, were you one of those kids who was scared of me?

I was always cool with the scared kids, I kept my distance. Nobody needs a Hello Kitty nightmare, right? But sometimes the parents were just determined to get a picture of their screaming, terrified tot holding my hand or something.

I can't really judge though - my little sister still tells the story of me forcing her to hold a baby bobcat for a picture when she was about 3! How does she even remember that? And who doesn't want to hold a bobcat? The picture is adorable though. You can even see the thin veil of terror lurking behind the adorable little baby face. So yeah...it was totally worth it.

Bebs said...

That is truly amazing! Did you have a lot of German-speaking kids where you went to school?

Purplebeez said...

Hello Kitty.. Worst nightmare.

McGruff the crime dog came to my school and it wouldn't shut up. The robot sirens were loud and annoying it wouldn't stop.

I can't believe you were in a Hello Kitty suite. WEIRD!!!!

shadowlego29 said...

Ehh hello kitty kat!
This is really confusing and akward.

Bebs said...

Oh my gosh! You've actually met my nemesis! Yes, I remember the annoying sirens. A word to the wise: just get a running tackle on that thing and take it down if you see it again! *Note: I am not responsible for any repercussions if anyone actually decides to tackle a policeman's robot dog. There is probably a law against that, no matter how annoying it is. Kids, do not destroy police property!

Matthijs said...

I love it to get to know more about BrickArms personnel(Sorta), And sooner or later, I would have send you my interview questions that I send to every BA personnel(Except for Will and Ian) But now I don't need to, Thanks for this post! ;)

Magus said...

That is just crazy. I would have knocked down the dog. I can't believe that cops can be that obnoxious, but anyway. Nice story.

Will said...

Awesome! My little cousin would have loved you to death! She'd be worse than that dog! Right now I'm imagining a mannequin on a remote control car. Was that what it looked like?

Bebs said...

It was maybe 5 or 5.5 feet tall and sat on a square platform base with wheels. It was pretty cheesy-looking, really. But as for kids loving it, I was practically a hero to my little sister! Not only did she have a constant influx of Hello Kitty gifts from me, I even came to her school and proved to all her friends that Hello Kitty was her sister!

UrBaN cAmO said...

I would love to win a bloody brickarms


UrBaN cAmO

Katkastle said...

Roflol! This is one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time!

Lego commando said...

Great story. You should tell it at partys:P

LordHorc said...

Wow, that must've been funny to watch as a kid. :)

Captainbane said...

Hello kiity? Shame.SHAME. I nevr knew the police would do something like that.

Rebel said...

That did not sound like it was a fun experience for you but you should work the job you want to work. I like how you told the story in detail and I was slightly giggling during it. It was a great story and at the time it may not have been fun for you but now it looks like you are laughing at it. Great story Bebs!

AK-47 Fan said...

This is weird... But good.

jptbricks23 said...

LOL. I want to hear that story!

Dog Ironbones said...

I used to work for a rental car agency, a large, well-known, rental car agency. My job basically consisted of detailing vehicles after they were returned... This often involved disposing of days old food, smoked cigarettes and on rare occasions receipts for items that I wouldn't feel right about detailing in this forum. But, there were some nice perks as well. I pretty much had free run of the place, I got discounts on my own rentals, and then there were... The Joyrides. On a unrelated topic, did you know that a Geo Metro gets pretty good hang time when it's launched over a speed bump at 35 MPH? Because it does.

Bebs said...

A Geo Metro? lol! Wait...those get up to 35MPH?

Joe said...

That was funny!Also I would like to win the bloody camo weapons in your contest.I dont mind which ones!

~Tomanybricks~

Clayton said...

My arms stuck out.... and I was in more oven mitts. Kinda redundant, isn't it? But yeah, it was in the middle of summer, as a lot of Texans were flocking to our lake for tourism. Thank goodness it was a white costume. I was putting on cartwheels that would've put John Belushi to shame.

Adventure901 said...

Well, that was an interesting story! Filled with a few chuckles, I had a good laugh at the end..... "I could have just clobbered mcgruff!" Lol. Nice story.

DaneDawg said...

EDIT: this is an edit of my original post. When I first wrote this I thought it was JD! I re-wrote for you now and I hope you enjoy it :)
Well I think if you needed the money this was fine. But it must feel weird little girl toy! This could actually be why you are here today! Hello kitty is apart of the toy industry, even though you were not selling hello kitty you still took part in the huge franchise. You must have worked your way up in the toy buisness and found Toy Wiz!
anyways If you were walking down the street (with your costume on) and some guys picked on you, would you attack them? If so you would be in a CAT FIGHT! LITERALLY! :D lol

[b]This is my comment entering into the compitition[/b] to win your amazing Brickarm painted customs. Your site has a real talent in in this custom painting thing....... I think you found your calling at ToyWiz. If not, atleast your not in a kitty suit!!!! ;)

Bebs said...

Hi DaneDawg, I did actually sell Hello Kitty merchandise - I also worked in the retail store, but not always in costume. But I did get picked on sometimes in the Kitty suit. On a few occasions, teenagers would try to trip me or hit me in the head or pull my tail. None of it hurt, and when you're in the costume, you can't attack anyone! You really do have to think about how things look from the outside because a lot of little kids are watching. The only thing they did sometimes that annoyed me was punching or slapping the costume head. You might have noticed that Hello Kitty has a HUGE head. It was very heavy and hard to balance, so smacking didn't hurt me at all, but it would make my head wobble!

Army toad said...

I don't like hello kitty, I like bloody BA! Hello kitty is strange. I think the hardest part about being hello kitty is carrying that big head around.It's head is the size of it's body!

Bren926 said...

Oooooooh yeah. It's like how in public High Schools 90% of the words you hear are in Spanish, except in German.

RC11 said...

That was really funny!! I want to hear another one!

rivers46 said...

Hope I win and also nice story :)

Daniel Borges said...

Ha!

Daniel Borges said...

Ha! Funny as hell!

Bob12345swn said...

Very interesting story :p

samwise_GAMGEE said...

I feel sorry for you. Those suits must be sweltering! I don't like Hello Kitty much (being a male) and I would like being inside of a Hello Kitty costume furnace would be even worse! Although, it is nice to know someone so cool started out with a rather degrading job. I assume your current job is much more comfortable. ;)

I suppose that would be rather fun, though, getting to meet all those lovely children, and getting you picture taken every minute of the day. It would probably get rather boring after a while, but before it falls into the dull groove of monotony, it would be quite pleasurable.

PhaTic said...

Little weird, but a funny story. :)

The rod said...

HAH! Well now, this certainly brightened up my day.

cjg said...

Haha! This was a fun read. :)
(I hope I win... :D)

Dragunov said...

Awwww poor you, Bebs, I had a giggle reading this. :)
It's good you kept your cool, I'd have clobbered as soon as I got the chance!

zachary said...

I know what you mean! my cousain is a mascot for a basketball team and he said its like being in a sauna, Anyway nice job its a tough job to do but how many people can say they were a hello kitty mascot? not many now you can tell everyone your story/1

*The Commander* said...

Nice story [though I can't say I am a big Hello Kitty fan!]

austin said...

what an awesome story this made me laugh and made my day, good job on hanging through all the way!

TheSniperCat13 said...

Interesting but funny story!

Bion said...

That is hilarious. That just made me a little bit happier. :)

SWAT minifig guy said...

That was a genuinely funny blog post.

Ready321 said...

A 50 pound cat suit that made me fall off my chair because I was laughing so hard! This really made my day.

The Hazards of Being Hello Kitty (part 2) – ToyWiz Planet said...

[...] Last week, we got a lot of comments about my adventures as Hello Kitty, so as promised, I’ve got another tale to share – the story of my near-miss with decapitation while being Hello Kitty. Click here if you missed part 1. [...]

Tarotcard said...

What a truly fun read

besparen said...

Thankfully some bloggers can still write. My thanks for this piece of writing!